Submission and dominance are psychological traits that affect our daily and personal lives. Often seen as a kinky turn inside the sheets, bondage is much more intimate and raw than it is credited for. These sexual endeavours are also known as BDSM (bondage, discipline/dominance, submission/sadism, masochism) and usually involves two people; and bondage gear, if you are really into it.
With the rise of bondage in recent times, due to outbursts of internet and depiction of BDSM in popular movies (Fifty Shades of Grey being the classic), there is an interesting peek into the raunchy sexual act. Obviously, the attention has brought up a lot of questions about bondage plays. Who is it for? Are BDSM plays normal? What is the appeal behind BDSM? What are the bondage toys that are involved? etc. As many magazines and research institutes are conducting their surveys and studies on BDSM, we at For The Closet have ensured that you get a good insight into the world of BDSM. Here, we have a brief get-to-know for you into the world of BDSM and bondage toys.
What is BDSM?
BDSM is a sexual act where both partners take up a role (one being submissive and the other dominant). It can be seen as a set of power plays that the couple initiates to tempt, lure and pleasure their partner. Minor pain infliction and seduction techniques are what create the distinctive roles and make this one of the most desired sexual plays amongst couples.
Types of BDSM
When in any kind of sexual activity, there are no restrictions or dimensions. Until you are being safe and consensual, you can let your creativity flow. With that in mind, here are a few of the most enacted bondage role-plays:
Breath Seduction – Breathing gently around the pleasure points of one’s partner to entice their emotions. Also, holding one’s breath by gently choking while seducing.
Impact and Surprise – This usually involves striking the partner’s body with bondage gear like a whip stick, or cane or by using one’s hand.
Role Play – This does not need an introduction. One of the most common sexual plays is where the couple pretends to be another person than they are.
Edging – Supposed to enhance the climax experience, edging is a common practice in BDSM. There are bondage toys specifically designed to help the couple retain their climax and prolong the kinky act.
What is the Appeal of BDSM Play?
In essence, BDSM is a unique space which involves trust, vulnerability, and a need to understand one’s partner (to pleasure them accordingly). Through the roles of power, bondage plays help people explore their partners by pushing the normal boundaries of comfort. Giving control depicts utmost trust, surrendering to the partner demands having faith in whatever they do next, and domination involves a lot of responsibility to create a healthy balance of kink and nurture.
BDSM can help create a free space for the couple to express their desires, emotions and fantasies collaboratively, safely and healthily. Essentially, making their bond stronger than ever; physically and psychologically. Bondage allows one to tap into their primal instincts, explore new areas of pleasure and experience heightened levels of sensations. This entire set of captivating acts involving exchanging control, asserting dominance and embracing each other is the irresistible factor of the BDSM world.
Bondage Gears/Toys Involved in BDSM
When looking out to test the kink waters of bondage, you can be worry-free knowing that there are numerous options to ease your fantasies. Here is a range of bondage gears and accessories that will not only help you reduce into the bondage world but also help you achieve the edge in the bedroom.
Handcuffs
BDSM Handcuffs are the best way to ease into the ocean of bondage. This just takes away some of the hand control of your partner, making them feel safe while adding a bit of spice.
BDSM Love Masks/Blinds
These are the perfect number two on the list. Taking away any vision or sight of your partner would force them to predict your movements. This adds excitement to the couple’s chemistry and is perfect to heat up the room.
Paddles
Paddles usually have a light, soft & feathery end on one side and a leathery end on the other. Paddles are used to pleasure and initiate impact while keeping your partner on their toes.
Bondage Gags
Ball gags are used to depict dominance and submission. They eliminate the chatter inside the bedroom but trust us when we say that they’ll only make things more intimate. The air vent in the gag helps in breathing and avoiding drool.
Clitoral and Nipple Clamps
Nipple and Clitoral Clamps come in many different shapes. They offer a bondage-oriented mix of pain and pleasure. You can achieve the desirable infliction of pain by customising the pressure.
These toys will help you dive smoothly into the fetish world of BDSM. If you plan to explore further more into the space of bondage gears, you can look up BDSM Thigh Cuffs, Bondage Tapes, BDSM Spreader Bars, Dame Pilos, Silicone Nipple Suckers, Gag Bars, BDSM Massage Candles, BDSM Body Restraints, Leather Floggers and Bondage Ropes.
Tips to Initiate BDSM
When looking for acts that are involved in bondage, you can start by enacting hair pulling, gentle spanking and roleplaying during your normal sexual routines. With these, you can have conversations surrounding BDSM with your partner. If you and your partner are having a hard time coming to a common ground, you can role-play being in a bondage setting. This would help nurture the conflicts that you, as a couple, might be facing.
Consent (Micro-Consent)
Consent is integral in any kind of sexual activity. Due to the edging and passion-driven nature of bondage, micro-consent becomes vital. Micro consent means discussing your kinks with your partner along with the things that you plan to do during the BDSM play. Explain how you plan on using the bondage gears on them and what intensity level you plan to achieve. Ask them to do the same. With proper communication, the couple can find each other’s limits and boundaries.
Safe Words
Safe words are designed to convey that one of the partners is uncomfortable and that the couple needs to stop doing whatever they might be into. It is usually a random word that the partners discuss in advance.
Red-Yellow-Green
Bondage is an explorative act, be it for oneself or in terms of exploring one’s partner. This means that there are going to be a lot of new things and old sexual norms can be intensified. Red, Yellow, and Green are essentially used to communicate how a partner is feeling about a certain act. Red means stop, yellow means slow down and green means that you can go bananas. Even during using and exploring bondage gears, the RYG tactic can speed up the BDSM process for you.
