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What was once seen as a serious taboo all around the world is today one of the most common sensual activities inside a bedroom. Moreover, people of all sexual orientations have demonstrated their affinity for the raunchy pursuit. Even though every person, whether in a serious relationship or marriage, has thought about anal at some point in their lives, getting started with it seems a little tricky. We at For The Closet have accumulated real-life stories and tips to get you off on the right foot on this sensual journey. After all, it is time to remove any stigma associated with anal, as it is a form of consentual and partnered erotic endeavour just as much as sex.

We have heard the amazing stories about how anal is one of the most pleasurable forms of intimacy, and all it demands is the courage to be explored. But with those bewitching statements, tons of questions also turn up —

  1. Will it be too painful?
  2. Will the ass cheeks change their shape?
  3. Should we use toys?
  4. What is the correct way?.

Start Small

Let us make it clear. Unlike the vagina, the anal region is biologically designed to push out. Keeping this in mind, one has to slowly train the pressure points in the anus to get used to the stimulants, aka the penis or butt plug. So, start small by using a finger-sized toy and slowly progressing to your desired sizes. As sex toys are stationary, try thrusting and caressing your insides with the toy to unbolt the sensitive pressure points.

Use Toys

Despite a connection with their partners, many significant others feel uncomfortable diving right into anal. This is understandable and completely reasonable. Toys are a great start to a blissful anal journey. Electronic or manual butt plugs, anal beads, dildos, and surf plugs are entirely safe and designed for you to safely explore your sensuality. If your partner does not mind, you can include toys in your regular sexual endeavours. This would not only make your bedroom activities more intimate but also make your anal journey memorable.

Get Wet Before Getting Dirty (literally)

Lube. That’s as simple as it gets. Like the vagina, the rectum produces its own natural lubricant, but it is never enough for the intercourse. Additionally, the rectum soaks up the generated lubricants to support its functioning. So, to adequately and properly live up to your anal expectations, don’t shy away from lubing up.

Tip: Water-based lubes dry out more easily and quickly than hybrid or silicone lubes.


Your and your partner’s positions are essential for a pleasurable and blissful anal experience. When going down the path less travelled, balance and companionship are foremost. During the early stages, any minor impediment, any unwanted thrust or movement, can be painful and inconvenient. Don’t forget that you are in this together. You can start out with positions that make you feel more in control and steady in your movements. Try spooning, lapping, or leaning cowgirl for proper communication and harmony throughout your initial experience. Once both of you feel that you can turn things up a notch, don’t shy away from making a little mess.

Use Condoms

Even if you are married or in a monogamous relationship, make condoms your priority for anal. Firstly, it will make the movements smoother by reducing friction. Secondly, it will maintain the appropriate health of the rectum. Rectal tissues are very soft and fragile; any kind of unexpected encounter can lead to a tissue tear. This can cause the bacteria in your anus to flow into your bloodstream, which can cause an imbalance in the body. Also, if you and your partner decide to attend the urgencies on both ends, remember to change the condom. Vagina and rectum harbour different bacteria, and it is not a good idea to mix them up.

Be Conscious

The line between pain and pleasure can be quite thin for a lot of people, and some even claim that a little pain acts like a stimulant for them. With that out of the way, be conscious of how you are actually feeling throughout the process. If the pain or hurt feels too much, don’t step away from taking a break or stopping. Any secretion from the rectum means that you need to stop and check the area out. Mostly, it is nothing major and will subside in a while. If it does not, seek professional advice immediately.

Cleaning and Hygiene

Proper rectal hygiene is equally important as vaginal hygiene. This becomes even more crucial for anal sex, because if taken casually, your partner might also be at risk of an infection or bacteria transfer.

  • Firstly, make sure to keep your nails trimmed and your hands clean.
  • Maintain good tongue hygiene if you plan to pleasure your partner orally.
  • A warm bath before the hot times can help relax the muscles. Showers can be relaxing after the festivities too.
  • Get an HPV test. HPV affects more people than you think; it is a commonly practised checkpoint to get an HPV vaccine. Studies have shown that women are affected by it the most.
  • Post-anal, don’t forget to thoroughly clean up the rectum with water. This is called douching and is a common practice.
  • Invest in a home enema kit.