Swinging is a great way to bring the passion back into your sex life; assuming of course, that both people in the relationship agree to explore swinging together. This lifestyle choice can open the door to you and your partner being able to access various sex toys and play scenes which will automatically spice up your sex life. Talking about this is often the most difficult part of the process, and if you’ve got that out of the way, then you’re well on your way to embarking upon the swinging lifestyle that you both may well crave.
But what now? What should you expect? How do you act?
And where does it take place? Swinging can be a roller-coaster ride, depending on how you proceed, but most who participate in such activities testify that “When it’s great, it’s phenomenal!”
If you don’t know anyone else who wants to swing, then looking online is an excellent idea – you will meet other like-minded people, and it all goes from there. Having an online presence is a great way to conceal a swinger lifestyle and cloak your real identities. All you need to do is sign up to some of the trustworthy websites, and you can browse people’s profiles, peruse club events by geographical location, and of course, the more sites you join, the more access to other swingers and activities you will probably gain.
Trust is a huge issue when it comes to swinging, and this is the aspect which can set couples off on the wrong foot at the start – your profiles need to reflect both of you. Things like separate accounts only fuel distrust; these sites run on sending private messages to other members, and being open and honest, with no secrets between each other is the only way a swinging relationship will survive, so every move, message or contact you make is a joint act never a solo one. You both need to communicate readily with each other when entering this way of life; you need to know what you both want from your experiences – and you may need to compromise, too, as your needs may differ, yet both might well be strong desires. Establishing your boundaries is an advisable course of action to take, as is keeping in mind that what people can tolerate on a kink level may differ. And if you are at a club or event you’re never sure what may unfold, but the majority of swinger’s clubs do concentrate on the more sensual side of sex so you may need to find a specialist club to cater to your particular needs. These organisations often host themed nights; these can be perfect for breaking the ice and can take some of the beginner anxiety away as there is an emphasis on fun! Attending a themed night where you can wear the sexy fancy dress can help you relax and maybe even take on a different persona for the evening.
Once you have found a couple – or single person – you both may wish to play with, how do you move this process into reality? Meeting at a swingers party or an event is a great way to break the ice, and play in a safe environment taking protection with you is advisable so that you’re always ready, and a good supply of flavoured condoms never goes amiss. You’ll soon become aware of the level of someone’s experience, and you’ll never feel pressurised to join in. Watching what happens is a great approach to take with regards to learning what goes on, and introductions to devices you may not always see, like specialist sex furniture and accessories and of course, you get to meet another like-minded folk. It is common courtesy to meet for drinks beforehand, as it can be awkward, especially if the people you meet are not quite what you expected when you encountered their online persona. Keeping things sane and sensible is vital, and honesty and full communication between you and your partner are essential when indulging in a swinging lifestyle or partaking in group sex.
